I was going to write some post about what it would take to elevate thinking of working out to an art, but why bother when I can just post this video instead?
It’s hard at times to know what it means to push myself. Ten minutes in to exercising, I could feel my knees aching in all the wrong ways. I switched into Physical Therapy land, and as dull as normal working out can be, PT is on a whole other level. I flash back to how much everything ached when I skied the few times and how I loved it. How I felt just a couple of weeks ago after horseback riding, or even jet skiing, and it’s not hard to see there are better ways to get healthy.
Looking at the faces of gym rats vs. anyone deep into just about any sport and it’s not hard to tell who’s having a better time. For now, I’m working out because it fits around my work schedule. At least that’s what I tell myself. The thought of getting into sports after 30 years of avoidance terrifies me. I have no idea if I have it in me. Working out daily is a matter of self control. Taking on a sport would be tackling a fear. And PT? That’s just total and utter boredom.
I’m supposed to be in work in 20 minutes. Instead, I’m lying on my floor catching my breath after working out, wondering what the price is for all of the time I’ve spent on this.
I’m proud of where I am. I’m proud that I’m able to do 20 pull ups, when four months ago I couldn’t do one. Most of the time, I’m more awake. I’m happier. But it’s all come at a price. When I got home, I’d go straight to exercising and while it was only a 30 minute routine, it was enough to wipe me out for an hour. There were many nights where I’d bike back from work, getting home close to nine, work out, and before I knew it, it was 10:30. Instead of spending a half hour with my friends, on art, or even just writing – it was working out.
I haven’t yet habitualized this in any sustainable way. I’m starting to see if I plan to stay with this, I’ll need to start getting up earlier and doing it in the morning – as I can’t give up on everything else forever.
The deeper I dig in, the more discipline it demands. The more I have to start rethinking my priorities.
Let’s be honest. This is all a diary to myself. Making it public is the journalistic equivalent of a livejournal account.
Yes. I realize that reference is dated by about 10 years. 20 years? That’s exactly my point. Point being, I’m not going to try. Or edit. Or any malarky like that. Point being to simply write in some mess of a sweaty state after finishing exercising.
About a million years ago I had a blog that lasted 30 days. I loved it dearly. Then I got lazy and stopped writing. And a weird thing happened. Or rather, exactly what you should expect happened – I stopped the diet.
The exercise wasn’t the hard part. That was a habit I’d formed. But good diet? I’ve had that only a handful of times in my life.
I’m looking to return to that good diet, and if this journal might hold some secret truth towards getting there, I’m willing to give this a whirl.
I don’t expect that. Rather, I expect to get distracted. To have higher priorities. To use the time after working out rather than to write, which feels incredibly productive for a sweaty mess, to instead lie motionless on my floor in nothing but my boxers watching some tv show I’d be embarrassed to admit I watch to the public on my laptop perched on my naked belly as I wonder if the radiation from it is hurting my future chances to re-produce. A show like The Flash or Mork and Mindy or basically any early 90’s cartoon.
This is all a round about way of saying I’m exercising again, and that’s exciting. After two years of pretty consistent P90X’ing I took a two year break. Life happened.
Four months ago I returned to P90X3. My muscle memory was still there and I got up to speed so much quicker this second time. I don’t know if it will last, but I’m going to try.
My diet still needs work. One step at a time. Writing this already feels like it might be happening.
But that’s a lot of conditionals.
You probably think I gave up.
Or just got bored of writing.
You’re right on all accounts.
Also, you’re wrong.
I ran out of free time, and decided if I had to choose between exercise and writing about exercising, exercise wins out.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but writing these entries did have an effect on my ability to stay self motivated. While I kept exercising, I wasn’t able to keep up the diet anymore. All of the complaining that I poured into this blog was actually helping me focus my self control. When I stopped writing, I stopped dieting.
In Hawaii two things happened. Because I was surfing one day and kayaking the next I decided to skip out on P90X for a couple days. We were swimming through the Coral Reef at the end of kayaking and my foot hit into some of it. I started bleeding, and hurt my ankle enough to not be able to get back into exercising for another week. Between this and nonstop travel, I broke my rhythm and didn’t get back to exercising for another month. I went straight into month two which I spent six weeks on, and only now am I halfway through the third month.
I’ve found time to write again, but realized writing about exercising isn’t nearly broad enough of a topic, so I expanded a bit, and moved to a blog called TryingtoFail.com . It’s just like Exercise is Hard, but different in that I don’t just talk about exercise and dieting.
I have two and a half weeks before finishing P90X, but I’m thinking of doing it again from the start the moment I finish. I’m not sure what comes next, but for now I’m growing stronger, and looking forward to getting where I want to be.
I’m going to redo the first month in hopes of being able to actually complete the pull up section of it by the end. I had originally said I’d just repeat one of the first three weeks, but that’s just a recipe for injury. The fourth week exists as a week of stretching and time off for a reason.
If I can do 10 pull ups in a row, I can go on to the next level of P90X. Until then, I’m only kidding myself.
I’m on day two of Month 1: Redone. It’s even harder than I remember, but this time, I feel I’m doing it right, and that makes me smile.
Things I’m bored writing about:
- Fitting exercise into my schedule is hard.
- Attempting to resist eating, and failing miserably at it.
- Pushing myself in exercising, and surprising myself with what I’m capable of.
- New recipes.
- Old habits I need to quit.
Fortunately for me, if I stop writing about all of these, this immediately rises to a level better than most P90X blogs. Unfortunately, there’s nothing left to write about. Nothing easy, anyway.
Instead, I’m left with a collection of entries on how I pushed myself further than I ever thought possible in X.
Recently I haven’t had any great ideas for what to post on. I thought when I traveled things would be different, and there would be more subjects to go on. I was wrong.
The only time when there’s something worth saying is when I push myself harder than I ever have before, when I face that moment that success is shaped on. In other words, posting is an admission of success.
I have no plans for this blog to disappear.